The A team

White lips, pale face
Breathing in snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste

Lights gone, days end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men

And they say
She's in the class A team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
'Cause we're just under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams
And she don't want to go outside, tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly, for angels to fly

Ripped gloves, raincoat
Tried to swim and stay afloat
Dry house, wet clothes

Loose change, bank notes
Weary-eyed, dry throat
Call girl, no phone

And they say
She's in the class A team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
'Cause we're just under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams
But she don't want to go outside, tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the motherland
Or sells love to another man
Its too cold outside
For angels to fly
An angel will die
Covered in white
Closed eye
And hoping for a better life
This time, we'll fade out tonight
Straight down the line

And they say
She's in the class A team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since eighteen
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

They scream
The worst things in life come free to us
And we're under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams
And we don't want to go outside, tonight
And in the pipe fly to the motherland
Or sell love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly, angels to fly
To fly, fly
For angels to fly, to fly, to fly
Angels to die

PALOMINO

Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow
Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow

People are afraid of the quiet ones
But I'm terrified of those that laugh too much
Sorrow sit and lie when you get too close
So I ride to your front yard and through your window
I will whisper

Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow
Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow

How are ghosts so loud, and treat you cruel?
the edge of
There is something I know when you're near
That I forget when you go
I'm gonna save you from the insincere

Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow
Ride with me, boy, on my palomino
Racin' through grey skies, lookin' for the yellow
Leave your father, mother, sister to the TV shows
They try to fix you, but sorrow's in the marrow

November

November
Has taken its toll
And if I know better
There's more to come
And the ocean is waitin' at our backdoor
You know we could leave
But we know in our hearts
There's so much more
We will find a way
To make it through these days
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
And I've fallen face down in the sun
Yeah, I take my chance playin'
Life's little dance and I still don't understand
And people are talkin' at me
Yeah, they make no sense
Wish I could pay my expenses
And get on the next train outta here
We will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
With sweet love and prayer
And who's the fairest of us all
And who will fight for you and I
Who's the bravest of us all
And who will hold us when we cry
When we cry
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through

35 and 362 days

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Hello so sadly my two days off are coming to an end but to be fair I have not done a lot.

I can't believe that I will be 36 in 3 days where has the time gone?

Am I the man I thought that I would be I am not sure but I am still here so that is

a victory in a way and when you start from nothing anything is up.

But maybe it is time to stop looking back and it is time to move on.

I was going to clean my room in my days off it's still not done I was going to

tweet my friend but it is still not done I was going to ring my job club but it is not done.

I was going to clean my work things but they are still not done.

Everything just feels so meaningless to me and I feel so cold and alone.

What does my life mean to anyone and what would change if I was not here?

Weather I like it or not I need people but they can be hard to understand and

they can hurt your feels and they can make you miss them and can end up 

pushing them away and then they may not come back again.

"It's a problem that our choices choose the wrong ones
That's probably the reason we're afraid we'll die alone
To a fault defending a simple course of action
We're distance and distraction from the nights we'd spend at home
Your eyes seem to observe my room so neatly
Behind the frames that used to greet me
At the bar around the block
Tonight they tell me that you never sleep too soundly
That you might have even missed me
More times than you could count
As you quietly let yourself out"

Pretty Girls Make Graves

Upon the sand, upon the bay
"There is a quick and easy way" you say
Before you illustrate
I'd rather state :
"I'm not the man you think I am
I'm not the man you think I am"

And sorrow's native son
He will not smile for anyone

And pretty girls make graves
Oh...

End of the pier, end of the bay
You tug my arm, and say : "give in to lust,
Give up to lust, oh heaven knows we'll
Soon be dust... "

Oh, I'm not the man you think I am
I'm not the man you think I am

And sorrow's native son
He will not rise for anyone

And pretty girls make graves
Oh really ?
Oh...

I could have been wild and I could have
Been free
But nature played this trick on me

She wants it now
And she will not wait
But she's too rough
And I'm too delicate

Then, on the sand
Another man, he takes her hand
A smile lights up her stupid face
(and well, it would)

I lost my faith in womanhood
I lost my faith in womanhood
I lost my faith...
Oh...

Hand in glove...
The sun shines out of our behinds...
Oh...

Let's Talk About Diane Nguyen - Bojack Horseman

You’re a good person, Diane, and that’s the most important thing.
Even if no one appreciates you, it’s important that you don’t stop being good.

Cut off

"Your prince's crown

Cracks and falls down
Your castle hollow and cold
You've wandered so far
From the person you are"

Hello how are you?

I am not doing to good I am getting more and more cut off and alone and I don't know

why to do.

I can not tell you how much I hate my job when I can because I am but you know what I mean.

I really feel like some of the people I work with don't like me and that is upseting

and the one thing that I was looking forward to is now off to be fair it has been that

kind of year.

So what do I do? 

1 Try to look for a new job 

2 try to make friends 

3 hope to come into a lot of money

4 just live day to day

5 get some Antidepressants

I just wish that I did not feel like this I guess that sometimes when you win you lose.

“We are addicted to our thoughts. We cannot change anything if we cannot change our thinking.” 

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. "

So here I go 3 days till my next day off and no way out wish me luck everyone and

I hope that someone somewhere maybe thinking of me in my time of darkness and doubt.

I know other people have it a lot worse but for some reason that is no help to me  

Lost

One is never afraid of the unknown; one is afraid of the known coming to an end.

Hello so I am on the last day of my two days off and I am fed up because I have done nothing

just stay in my bed all day worrying about what is going to happen.

I had to good into work today to do a bit of training and that was really boring and

then it was back to home to kill a bit more time.

I use to love being online and using twitter but it is not making me feel good anymore

I just sit there looking at my notifications just waiting to get one then feeling bad when

I don't.

Life should be getting better for me but it just feels like more of the same.

Maybe it is just something that is in my DNA and I will always be this way.

I just get so fed up with myself I never know what to say or what to do.

I wanted to talk to my friend but I have wasted my time off and now I have

got to work for 4 days in a row.

How can I be 36 in 9 days how can I do anything well I still have time.

Bad dream

It was dawn and the kitchen light was still on
I stepped in, found the suicide asleep on the floor
An open mouth screams and makes no sound
Apart from the ring of the tinnitus of silence
You had your ear to the ground

White noise
I don't know if there's breathing or not
Butterflied arms tell me that this one has flown
Blood seems black against the skin of your porcelain back
A still life is the last I will see of you
A painting of a panic attack

He died in his sleep last night
He died in his sleep last night
He died in his sleep last night
He died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night
You died in his sleep last night

Death dreams you don't forget
It's been a while since I dreamed this but
Even now, when asleep, I'll tread with care
Death dreams you don't forget
It's been a while since I dreamed this but
Even now, when asleep, I'll tread with care
Death dreams I don't forget
It's been a while since I dreamed this but
Even now, when asleep, I'll tread with care
Death dreams I don't forget
It's been a while since I dreamed this but
Even now, when asleep, I'll tread with care

Jobs

"some people are so poor all they have is money"

Hello so my job is not going well and I did not think that I will be there must longer.

It has been a nightmare from start to finish and it has made me more unhappy then ever.

I have to believe that there is more to life that to just work like a dog.

Everything has about money we work day and night to pay bills just to do the same tomorrow.

They are letting me come in at 10 today as my feet are so bad but I can not face it.

I have get to work out where I go from here I just want the job to end really so that

I can draw a line under it and try to move on again well I still have some moves left 

I am looking forward to my Birthday but it still seems a long way off right now.

I just want to say goodbye to an awful year and hope that my 36 year is a better one.

I really miss being at home and having time to write down my feels when I want

to or when I need to I miss my friends online and I feel very alone there more

so that if I spend the day alone maybe this is who I have become.

Greed is not a financial issue. It's a heart issue.

Well in is just about time to be going in and I will let you know what happens 

No ordinary morning

If there was nothing that I could say

Turned your back and you just walked away

Leaves me numb inside I think of you

Together is all I knew

We moved too fast, but I had no sign

I would try to turn the hands of time

I looked to you for a reason why

The love we had passed me by

And as the sun would set you would rise

Fall from the sky into paradise

Is there no light in your heart for me

You've closed your eyes you don't longer see

There were no lies between me and you

You said nothing of what you knew

But there was still something in your eyes

Left me helpless and paralyzed

You could give a million reasons

Change the world and change the tides

Could not give me the secrets

Of your heart and of your mind

In the darkness that surrounds me

Now there is no peace of mind

Your careless words undo me

Leave the thought of us behind

You could give a million reasons

Change the world and change the tides

Could not give me the secrets

Of your heart and of your mind

In the darkness that surrounds me

Now there is no peace of mind

Your careless words undo me

Leave the thought of us behind

If there was nothing that I could say

Turned your back and you just walked away

Leaves me numb inside I think of you

Together is all I knew

We moved too fast, but I had no sign

I would try to turn the hands of time

I looked to you for a reason why

The love we had passed me by

And as the sun would set you would rise

Fall from the sky into paradise

Is there no light in your heart for me

You've closed your eyes you don't longer see

There were no lies between me and you

You said nothing of what you knew

But there was still something in your eyes

Left me helpless and paralyzed

Pull me up

Once we had
All we wanted
Nothing more
Than to take good care

But have I lingered too long, sister
And your light knows it?
A child raised
but not grown

We heard the robin
Sing his song
He's a hunter
He has thrown his arrows

Pull me up one more time
Pull me up one more time
For I have fallen

Pull me up one more time
Pull me up, be there beside me
'Cause there I know
I've held the fingers
To pull me up one more time
When I have fallen.