Dead Hearts

i was bullied - and i was a bully

The past

"I would rather not go
back to the old house
I would rather not go
back to the old house
there's too many
bad memories
too many memories

When you cycled by
here began all my dreams
the saddest thing I've ever seen
and you never knew
how much I really liked you
because I never even told you
oh, but I meant to

Are you still there?
or have you moved away?
or have you moved away?

I would love to go
back to the old house
but I never will
I never will
I never will
I never will "

Rusholme ruffians

The last night of the fair 

By the big wheel generator 
A boy is stabbed 
And his money is grabbed 
And the air hangs heavy like a dulling wine 

She is famous 
She is funny 
An engagement ring 
Doesn't mean a thing 
To a mind consumed by brass (money) 

And though I walk home alone 
I might walk home alone...
...But my faith in love is still devout 

The last night of the fair 
From a seat on a whirling waltzer 
Her skirt ascends for a watching eye 
It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side)
From a seat on a whirling waltzer 
Her skirt ascends for a watching eye 
It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side) 

And though I walk home alone 
I might walk home alone... 
...But my faith in love is still devout 

Then someone falls in love 
And someone's beaten up 
Someone's beaten up 
And the senses being dulled are mine 
And someone falls in love 
And someone's beaten up 
And the senses being dulled are mine 

And though I walk home alone 
I might walk home alone ...
...But my faith in love is still devout 

This is the last night of the fair 
And the grease in the hair 
Of a speedway operator 
Is all a tremulous heart requires 
A schoolgirl is denied 
She said : "How quickly would I die 
If I jumped from the top of the parachutes?"
La... 

This is the last night of the fair 
And the grease in the hair 
Of a speedway operator 
Is all a tremulous heart requires 
A schoolgirl is denied 
She said : "How quickly would I die 
If I jumped from the top of the parachutes?"
La... 

So...scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen 
(This means you really love me) 
Scratch my name on your arm with a fountain pen 
(This means you really love me) 
Oh... 

And though I walk home alone 
I just might walk home alone 
But my faith in love is still devout 
I might walk home alone 
But my faith in love is still devout 
I might walk home alone 
But my faith in love is still devout 
La...

The bell jar

"There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears." Sylvia Plath

I am a victim of introspection.
Sylvia Plath

How frail the human heart must be - a mirrored pool of thought.
Sylvia Plath

There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears. Sylvia Plath

Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow.

How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into

Prozac nation

"I mean, if you were to find a shattered mirror, find all the pieces, all the shards and all the tiny chips, and have whatever skill and patience it took to put all that broken glass back together so that it was complete once again, the restored mirror would still be spiderwebbed with cracks, it would still be a useless glued version of its former self, which could show only fragmented reflections of anyone looking into it. Some things are beyond repair. And that was me"

Depression

Madame Gandhi - UK Tour 2017 - The Future is Female

what is derealisation / depersonalisation?

briana marela

"Sit at home
Watching unfold
All you had tied up
True love decays
He cut the part of your life
That said you were someone he knew

[Pre-Chorus]
She lost herself, she lost herself
She lost herself
She lost herself, she lost herself
She loves him still

[Chorus]
Dani, you're not the only one lonely
Dani, you're not the only one lonely tonight

[Verse 2]
Trust yourself
Create the spell
All things can happen
When you wait
You're strong if you remember
To lift what weighs you down and escape

[Pre-Chorus]
She lost herself, she lost herself
She lost herself
She lost herself, she lost herself
She loves him still

[Chorus]
Dani, you're not the only one lonely
Dani, you're not the only one lonely
Dani, you're not the only one lonely
Dani, you're not the only one lonely tonight
Tonight"

Today

So I had an interesting day.
I want into the shop that I have been helping out at for the first time in 10 days.
As getting out of bed has been just about it for most days.
Then I had to say way they had not seen me.
I have been depressed so could not face anyone or anything.
Everyone was very understanding and must people there know someone will depression or anxiety or a drink problem.
Every story was different and yet the same a long line of sad story's.

Bad

I have had a really bad week. I am luck if I make it out of bed must days and I just don't know who to get out of it.
I just can't feel anything I put a bit of music on but that takes to much out of me so I turn it off and lay down again.
But today is jobs club so I'm going out at least.
I have to try and found a way back into the world

Hi

 I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now  I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now  I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now

HI

Hello. So I have been feeling good and I have not been leaving the house if there is anyway that I can help it.
I feel like I am getting more and more cut off from the world and I don't know how to found my way back.
I just feel worthless and useless and I may very well be.
It is hard to write must as I don't doing anything of feeling much.
I don't know how to make friends and I don't know what I would do if I did

A new day

I wake up at 9 am and think thank god that is a few less hours I will have to face today.
I put on the TV on there is something I like on so that will kill an hour.
I can do the dish's and make a cup of tea. All the time hoping that time does
not start going to slow.
I could go out but I can't face that or look for a job but I can't face that to.
I am stuck in a hole that I can not found a way out of and I don't know if I
ever will.
I have no money no job and no friends and If I did not have music I don't know
if I would still be alive.
It is the one thing that makes me feel a bit better but I can not have it on all day
and I have to face the world on my own sometimes.
So this is my day and it will be my tomorrow I just hope that it will not
be the rest of my life

Laura Mvula: Generation Anxiety

Love

500 days

Feeling

I'm sorry

"Something is gone and I’m sorry

But I can’t get through to you

Something is wrong and I’m sorry

But I can’t get through to you

Something is gone and I’m sorry

But I can’t get through to you

Something is wrong and I’m sorry

I’m sorry"

Hope

Wye do we need someone something to believe in? Take my favourite tennis player. She is brave and can fight she believes in her self. And it gives me hope to see that in people it gives you a reason to life to go on. People can over come and keep on fighting and so can I.
We need to believe in something bigger then are self that there is more to life than this. Thank you to my heroes

Life is pain

“You spend your whole life looking for answers because you think the next answer will solve all your problems: make you a little less miserable, because when you run out of questions you don't just run out of answers... you run out hope.”

Love 💙

mental health

There is going to be a lot of mental health. I have been posting a lot on Twitter but some people seem uneasy about it.
I have been feel very depressed and lost and I am hoping that is blog is going to help.

Hello

I have been have a hard time lately and I wanted to start up blogging again so here we are