Everything everywhere all at once

"I would rather not go back to the old house I would rather not go back to the old house there's too many bad memories too many memories When you cycled by here began all my dreams the saddest thing I've ever seen and you never knew how much I really liked you because I never even told you oh, but I meant to Are you still there? or have you moved away? or have you moved away? I would love to go back to the old house but I never will I never will I never will I never will "

The last night of the fair  By the big wheel generator  A boy is stabbed  And his money is grabbed  And the air hangs heavy like a dulling wine  She is famous  She is funny  An engagement ring  Doesn't mean a thing  To a mind consumed by brass (money)  And though I walk home alone  I might walk home alone... ...But my faith in love is still devout  The last night of the fair  From a seat on a whirling waltzer  Her skirt ascends for a watching eye  It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side) From a seat on a whirling waltzer  Her skirt ascends for a watching eye  It's a hideous trait (on her mother's side)  And though I walk home alone  I might walk home alone...  ...But my faith in love is still devout  Then someone falls in love  And someone's beaten up  Someone's beaten up  And the senses being dulled are mine  And someone falls in lo...

"There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears." Sylvia Plath I am a victim of introspection. Sylvia Plath How frail the human heart must be - a mirrored pool of thought. Sylvia Plath There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears. Sylvia Plath Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow. How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into

"I mean, if you were to find a shattered mirror, find all the pieces, all the shards and all the tiny chips, and have whatever skill and patience it took to put all that broken glass back together so that it was complete once again, the restored mirror would still be spiderwebbed with cracks, it would still be a useless glued version of its former self, which could show only fragmented reflections of anyone looking into it. Some things are beyond repair. And that was me"

"Sit at home Watching unfold All you had tied up True love decays He cut the part of your life That said you were someone he knew [Pre-Chorus] She lost herself, she lost herself She lost herself She lost herself, she lost herself She loves him still [Chorus] Dani, you're not the only one lonely Dani, you're not the only one lonely tonight [Verse 2] Trust yourself Create the spell All things can happen When you wait You're strong if you remember To lift what weighs you down and escape [Pre-Chorus] She lost herself, she lost herself She lost herself She lost herself, she lost herself She loves him still [Chorus] Dani, you're not the only one lonely Dani, you're not the only one lonely Dani, you're not the only one lonely Dani, you're not the only one lonely tonight Tonight"

So I had an interesting day. I want into the shop that I have been helping out at for the first time in 10 days. As getting out of bed has been just about it for most days. Then I had to say way they had not seen me. I have been depressed so could not face anyone or anything. Everyone was very understanding and must people there know someone will depression or anxiety or a drink problem. Every story was different and yet the same a long line of sad story's.

I have had a really bad week. I am luck if I make it out of bed must days and I just don't know who to get out of it. I just can't feel anything I put a bit of music on but that takes to much out of me so I turn it off and lay down again. But today is jobs club so I'm going out at least. I have to try and found a way back into the world

 I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now  I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now  I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now I need to live in the here and now

Hello. So I have been feeling good and I have not been leaving the house if there is anyway that I can help it. I feel like I am getting more and more cut off from the world and I don't know how to found my way back. I just feel worthless and useless and I may very well be. It is hard to write must as I don't doing anything of feeling much. I don't know how to make friends and I don't know what I would do if I did

I wake up at 9 am and think thank god that is a few less hours I will have to face today. I put on the TV on there is something I like on so that will kill an hour. I can do the dish's and make a cup of tea. All the time hoping that time does not start going to slow. I could go out but I can't face that or look for a job but I can't face that to. I am stuck in a hole that I can not found a way out of and I don't know if I ever will. I have no money no job and no friends and If I did not have music I don't know if I would still be alive. It is the one thing that makes me feel a bit better but I can not have it on all day and I have to face the world on my own sometimes. So this is my day and it will be my tomorrow I just hope that it will not be the rest of my life

"Something is gone and I’m sorry But I can’t get through to you Something is wrong and I’m sorry But I can’t get through to you Something is gone and I’m sorry But I can’t get through to you Something is wrong and I’m sorry I’m sorry"

Wye do we need someone something to believe in? Take my favourite tennis player. She is brave and can fight she believes in her self. And it gives me hope to see that in people it gives you a reason to life to go on. People can over come and keep on fighting and so can I. We need to believe in something bigger then are self that there is more to life than this. Thank you to my heroes

“You spend your whole life looking for answers because you think the next answer will solve all your problems: make you a little less miserable, because when you run out of questions you don't just run out of answers... you run out hope.”

There is going to be a lot of mental health. I have been posting a lot on Twitter but some people seem uneasy about it. I have been feel very depressed and lost and I am hoping that is blog is going to help.

I have been have a hard time lately and I wanted to start up blogging again so here we are