Everything everywhere all at once

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up. Hello I hope that you all had a good Christmas mine one has been ok but I am happy that  it is over and we can all get back to everyday life. My job seems to be going ok so that is some good news to take into 2018 but I still don't have have any friends so that is a sadness to take into 2018 and it is something that I don't see changing. Maybe I am just a bad friend or a bad person? I don't know? maybe both? I just hope that I am a better person at the end of 2017 then I was at the start of it and maybe that is all that we can ask for to get a little bit better every year.

All grown up, saving up for my exit Let it burn in the rearview mirror The folks I know will all go On their way to staying the same But the further that I get The deeper my regrets Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go Such a beautiful ring of black fire I can see it for miles and miles When I come back I’ll be Something to somebody Just imagine what they'll say I'll see 'em on my way Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go Further that I get, the deeper my regrets Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go Hometown goes wherever you go

Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son? And where have you been my darling young one? I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall Oh, what did you see, my blue eyed son? And what did you see, my darling young one? I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin' I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin' I saw a white ladder all covered with water I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard...

Just two days after the first of June A pine with arms brushing off the dew Unlike a sky copious with death Precipitation of heart and head Should wash the rest of her youth away And carry on with it as she may But something's pending curvaceously 'Cuz sunburned skin won't agree with me It should've been me... The pleasure's good as the pleasure's sound My chin held shut so my heart can talk louder I was a mess just like the pool Our days spent crossed out of Sunday school July has always been shy of June Some monsoon, monsoon, monsoon Come heavy of a golden hue My monsoon, monsoon, monsoon Monsoon, monsoon... It should've been me...

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. So 2017 is coming to an end and one thing that has run thought it has been loneliness. It has never been far away there has been a few times when I thought I had friends but it has always come to and end and my loneliness has come back like an old friend. I am starting to understand that a lot of people suffer from loneliness and just how  bad it can be for you and I have been to pleased to see the way done to try to end loneliness. And it is something that I am going to try to push more next year. Things like #Smalltalksaveslifes are great but I don't know who we stop people from becoming cut off from the world and feeling that no one cares about them. As the late Jo Cox said "   we are far more united and have far more in common with each other than things that divide us. We just need to found a way to  reminder that. We live in a society bloated with d...

Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday. Hi so I  had a good few days good days at work at last and I think that I maybe ok there in the end but we never know what is yet to come as I have found out. But it is nice to know people in the outside world I don't think online friends are going to work for me.  Can someone be your friend if they are never there when you need them  and they all always want to keep you at arm's length. I am not sure that is a friend to me it is just I ask nothing of you and you ask nothing of me it is all talk and no action it is words without the deeds to go with it. Maybe that is how people are friends now but that is not for me. Or maybe we are all just trying to found a way thought the day. I am feeling better about next year but this will be a year that I will never forget and maybe a year that I needed to put me on a new road even if I don't know  where that road goes to. ...

It was Christmas Eve babe In the drunk tank An old man said to me, Won't see another one And then he sang a song The Rare Old Mountain Dew I turned my face away And dreamed about you Got on a lucky one Came in eighteen to one I've got a feeling This year's for me and you So happy Christmas I love you baby I can see a better time When all our dreams come true They've got cars Big as bars They've got rivers of gold But the wind goes right through you It's no place for the old When you first took my hand On a cold Christmas Eve You promised me Broadway was waiting for me You were handsome You were pretty Queen of New York City When the band finished playing They howled out for more Sinatra was swinging All the drunks they were singing We kissed on the corner Then danced through the night The boys of the NYPD choir Were singing 'Galway Bay' And the bells are ringing Out for Christmas day You're a bum You're a punk You're an old slut on junk L...

There's a man who's been out sailing In a decade full of dreams And he takes her to a schooner And he treats her like a queen Bearing beads from California With their amber stones and green He has called her from the harbor He has kissed her with his freedom He has heard her off to starboard In the breaking and the breathing Of the water weeds While she was busy being free There's a man who's climbed a mountain And he's calling out her name And he hopes her heart can hear three thousand miles He calls again He can think her there beside him He can miss her just the same He has missed her in the forest While he showed her all the flowers And the branches sang the chorus As he climbed the scaley towers Of a forest tree While she was somewhere being free There's a man who's sent a letter And he's waiting for reply He has asked her of her travels Since the day they said goodbye He writes "Wish you were beside me We can make it if we try" He ha...

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up." 

"It's so easy to laugh  It's so easy to hate  It takes guts to be gentle and kind  Over, over  Love is natural and real  But not for you, my love  Not tonight, my love  Love is natural and real  But not for such as you and I, my love" Hello it has been a long time and somethings have changed and some are the same. I had the worse Birthday of my life and there have been some bad ones. For a long time I have not had any friends and I was ok with that. You know that you are not going to get anything and you don't have to give anything. But at last I thought I had some they would ask about my day and I would do the same they would care if I was happy or sad they would be there if I needed them. Well that is how I thought it would go. So well my Birthday coming up I was I was looking forward to it. It had been a bad year but this would be a good end to it that is the thing about hope it can go both ways if y...